The 5 Love Languages Of Self Care

Have you heard of or read the book  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts  by Gary Chapman?

The idea is that we all love and are loved differently.  Once we figure out what our love language is, we can improve the how we love ourselves and help others love us in ways that mean the most to us. 

I did the 5 Love Languages Test a few months back and my results were kinda interesting.

In order, my primary love language is Words of Affirmation, followed by Quality Time and then Receiving Gifts.

Apparently Physical Touch has a lower score, which is strange in my opinion, considering I give some amazing hugs.

Acts of service is the lowest, which probably doesn’t affect me on an emotional level in my relationships.

ps: if you’d like to find out what your love language is, you can take the preliminary test here.

This test got me thinking as to how I could interpret this information from the lens of self care. Because self care is essentially about the relationship we have with ourselves, the small daily actions of love we show ourselves.

self love

If Words Of Affirmation is your love language, this translates to how you talk to yourself.

Do you affirm and compliment yourself on the regular?

Your focus should be on repeating kind, encouraging and loving words to yourself that remind you how great and awesome you are.

A cool tip to use is to place these words written down, where you can see them often. For example, have a sticky note on the bathroom mirror or include these words as part of your vision board on as your laptop or phone wallpaper.

It makes sense for me because I’ve got my favourite affirmations in the form of phrases, words and thoughts scattered all over the walls of my house where I can see them.

Self Care Tip: Use a deck of cards that have powerful words of affirmation. My favourites are the Heart Thoughts Deck by the late Louise Hay.

You can also repeat these affirming mantras to yourself in the mirror or when you catch your reflection. The late Louise Hay presented this beautifully in the Mirror Work practice.

If Quality Time is your Love Language, look for and create pockets of time to be by yourself.

This could be by walking up earlier to sit with your thoughts, journaling and reflecting.

Take solo walks or trips.

Give yourself your full undivided attention so as to deepen your connection to yourself.

Meditate and pray to connect with God, make time for rest and hobbies and most importantly, don’t over schedule or over commit yourself.

Self Care Tip: Schedule ‘you’ time into your diary. Doing this makes you a priority.

Honour this commitment you’ve made to be with yourself as you would a very important meeting.

If Gifts are the ultimate expression of love for you, you’re most likely moved by thoughtful gestures.

Put the same effort each time you gift and reward yourself.

This love expression would translate as consciously getting something that helps you feel loved, appreciated and cared for.

Get romantic with yourself. Take yourself on a date.

Wine and dine yourself and allow yourself to be deep in your feelings about yourself.

Celebrate yourself.

For me, for example, any time I achieve a major milestone, I celebrate by buying myself a ‘souvenir gift.’ I’m also fond of buying myself flowers when I feel like it, just- as a little treat and as a symbol of my love for me.

Self care tip: Choose something that has meaning for YOU. Treat yourself, my lovely.

I love physical touch and if you’re in this category, some self care activities could include getting regular massages.

It’s important to be nice to your body.

Your lovely body is your soul’s home and deserves to be pampered, touched, and taken care of.

Be sweet to your body and be sweet to yourself.

In yoga, we’re normally asked to blow our knees a kiss or actually kiss our knees in some poses {if we can get to them.}

Get into the habit of hugging yourself tightly by wrapping your knees across your chest and giving yourself a good squeeze.

Self care tip: Consider everyday moments when you can touch yourself gently. For example, as you’re taking a bath, oiling your body after a bath or massaging your scalp.

You can also cozy and get wrapped up in a warm, soft blanket savouring a cup of herbal goodness. Yumm!

For Acts Of Service, do simple acts of kindness for you

This love language is all about action- what you’re doing to show yourself love.

Give yourself what you need when you need it.

Some ideas include decluttering your space so that you can welcome openness and clarity, or prepare healthy meals for yourself with the aim of nourishing and nurturing your body.

Create an environment that supports your wellbeing- an atmosphere of healing. Love where you live.

Put yourself together so that you feel like the beautiful person you are.

Do what makes you feel most loved! 



Your Turn

What self love language resonates with you? What do you do to express your self love language?

We all need different things to feel loved.

Self care and self love is different for everyone.

Every aspect of our relationship with ourselves is sacred and important.

Invest in loving yourself this Valentine's Day.