The Thing About Being A Woman

This week, 2 major things happened. Major in my book. Major in the global arena.

The first thing is that the Donald moved from being President Elect to actual President of the US. 

Now I have A LOT to say about the Donald but he is not my focus today.

My thoughts are with Melania, his poor wife who has been thrust into a position she is clearly not ready for. 

I have been watching her, eager as are so many to see her wardrobe. {By the way, I loved her choice of blue for the inauguration but did she have to wear gloves? I feel like it made her appear so cold.} How will she compare to Jackie Kennedy and of late, Michelle Obama?

I am curious to see what she will throw her voice behind. I am not really interested in her speeches because well, that's a story for another day. Like many other people I want to see how she will compare with Michelle Obama - the epitome of class, grace, humor and wit if I ever saw one.

Unkind words have been spoken.

Until I read this article, I was among Melania's biggest shamers and the blamers. 

 My female soul called me out. The woman in me recognized Melania as a fellow woman. Sure, a woman who has higher heels to walk in but a woman nonetheless.

And I realized that there are certain things about being a woman.

1| The thing about being a woman is that you will be judged harshly...perhaps even so [mostly] by other womenfolk

I have been guilty of shaming this poor woman as well. Laughing at her foibles and making fun of her mis-steps.

I have no idea who she is outside the public light. She has no idea who I am, tucked away in my little corner of the world.

Yet I judge her through the eyes of her husband.

Until I realized that that is not what true womanhood and sisterhood is about.

Quite frankly,  it's none of my business. Yet it is every bit of my business.

This is a woman who now has a great responsibility and immense pressure on her shoulders. 

I believe the same was the case of Michelle as she started out- termed an 'angry, black woman' whose 'lean arms were causing insecurity among other women.' Really.

I will not be among those women who judge other women harshly based on their stories, achievements or none, station in life or whatever reason.


2| The thing about being a woman is that you need support ...most definitely especially from other womenfolk

Wouldn't it be something if we as women stood by one another?

I find it interesting that women did not even vote for Hillary. That broke my heart.

What does that say about our thoughts about women?

Are we as women REALLY ready for the change we claim we want to bring about?

I remember having sleepless nights and spending countless mornings journalling about this phenomenon.

Sisters, girlfriends, women communities- all these are important if women are to thrive.

We cannot do it alone and it takes another woman to understand your struggle- your pain point, your insecurity, your frustrations and your triumphs.


3| The thing about being a woman is that you have to find your own sweet spot ...and own it and use it

Nobody knew what Michelle Obama stood for until she started applying her energy to causes like childhood obesity, girl empowerment and education. As a result of that she was able to create massive lifestyle changes and influence choices and decisions of many people.

I wonder what is Melania's sweet spot and where she will concentrate her efforts.

Whatever it is, it has to be personal to her. 

Do You- my friend says. And it makes sense. 

As I look around the women I consider to be successful, they are people who are operating within their zones of genius, using their gifts and talents as have been endowed on them.

Perhaps that should be the first rule of success: Find your sweet spot. Operate In Your Zone Of Genius.

The rest will arrange itself from there.


4| The thing about being a woman is that you are here because others raised their voices

Now to the second grand thing that happened last week. 

The Women's Marches around the world. 

I am able to make choices because many years ago, a woman somewhere raised her voice so that I could have mine.

Personally, I was proud of and moved by the women who stood bravely to let their voices be heard when it mattered most.

It seems like women have new battles to fight everyday- equal pay, better maternity packages, respect for our bodies, respect in general..the list is endless.

But because of the effort and courage of trailblazers of those who came before me, I am able to live fully in this lifetime.

This is my ode to Rosa Parks, Oprah, Cheryl Sandelberg, Arianna Huffington, Marie Forleo, the late Wangaari Maathai, Whitney Houston, Caroline Mutoko and many other heroines- both known and unknown, whose efforts have brought us here today.

We are still many light years away to go but we are not where we used to be.


5|The Thing about being a woman is that your story matters

Every woman you meet has a story of their own.

Every woman has her own struggles and insecurities.

The beauty of all that is that as a woman, you can use your story to bring healing and support to another woman.

Your experience needs to be heard.

Your light needs to be seen.

Your wisdom needs to be shared with others.

Women have that gift in particular of opening up and embracing others through what they have gone through.

Look at the strength that women world wide have drawn from Michelle's story- her life, her experiences in different fields and most importantly in her last role as FLOTUS.

Perhaps we all need to dig deeper and appreciate Melania's story as well.


6| The thing about being a woman is that you have to rise up

Now more than ever, the world is need of qualities that are essentially feminine- softness, nurturing, creativity, understanding, compassion, play and fun.

Wherever you are in whichever space you find yourself in, please rise up and be counted.

Bring your special feminine magic out to the world and help the world heal. 

May your warmth be felt by everyone who comes across your path.

May your sense of connection and compassion spark hope wherever you go.

We can heal the world, one woman at a time. {tweet this}


p.s: if this post resonated with you, please share all round and let's spread some positive feminist light to the world.

A Monthly Round Up Of #52WeeksOfYou

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I have committed 2017 to be the year of me.

One action every week for each of the 52 weeks.

Here is my first monthly round up.